Months Three and Four

Baby, I'm not going to say much about your third month. It was not my finest month. I was a weeping mess for some of it. So were you.




Since month two, you've gotten a lot of firsts in. You started to giggle a tiny bit. You got your hundred day party, which Koreans like to do.



You were totally saved from sin. I got your soul baptized, sucker.



And you outgrew some awesome outfits. Your butt will never fit into this again:



But... let's skip to month four. Woah! Since month three, all kinds of crazy stuff has happened. You decided that holding up your head was no longer the worst chore on Earth. If I put you into a Bumbo substitute, you decided to give it a try.



Mind you, you do slump over pretty quickly in it and then kind of fall to the side. You decided to laugh at me. That was the best ever. EVER.



One day soon, when I die of exhaustion, I will not blame you, and only because of the way you laughed at me when we played Peek-a-boo. You're lucky you have the best laugh in the universe.

You started a sleep schedule! It's amazing because you do not appear to hate it. We give you a small amount of food, a bath, a book, and we sing to you, and then you go to bed. Since we started a week and a half ago, you've only flipped out once. Most of the time, you go to bed approximately five minutes after we first put you into the crib. You just roll to your side, get a small backrub, and zonk out. Most nights, we don't even have to pick you up out of the crib. You're amazing at night.

During the day? Well, at some point in the past, you've started associating naps with torture. If I miss your nap, or if I don't, around two hours after you wake up, I started to hear this noise. "EHHNNNN! EHHHHHHH! WWWWWHHHHHEEEHHHHH!" It doesn't matter if you're in the car, or if you're in the crib, or if you're in the living room, or if you're taking a walk, it's always the same, "EEEEEEHHHHHH!" Then, about five to ten minutes later, you start to give it your all. The tongue starts to show and it's all downhill from there. You start to scream like I, or your daddy, or your grandmom, or whoever is in the vicinity, is tearing your little baby toenails out. Sometimes, when we are lucky, you then take a pacifier and fall into a deep sleep. Other times, you continue to cry until anyone near you is exhausted, including yourself.

You're also shoving your hands into your mouth like crazy and you're also trying to shove my hands into your mouth. It's like you want to determine if they could possibly taste as good as you think they taste. Sometimes, you grab my hand, shove it into your mouth, and then shove it away, and then repeat. You also like to rub your feet together as if you were a cricket or grasshopper.

You're babbling a ton nowadays too. I like to answer you. We coo or grumble at each other a lot. Our conversations are a lot like "Agoo! Agoo!" "Agoo? Agoo?" "GOO-AAAHHH!" "Goo-ahh?" "Aggoooooo!" Daddy joins us in the conversation too. Other people don't know that you're telling us that you love us. A lot!

You got even cuter, if possible.



We dance a fair bit around the house. Your favorite song is still "You Are My Sunshine" but that's a bedtime favorite. During the day, you like "Shake That Booty" and "Hey-Ya", but you only like them if you're being shaken. I know I promised that hospital I wouldn't shake you, but you love bopping along to music. You smile and giggle and play shy when I shake your booty for you.

Your second favorite song of all time is "Hey There, Delilah." Wow, I'm glad I like that song. If I didn't love that song prior to your birth, I'd hate it now. See, sometimes, when we are in the car, and you're cranky, I can play that song, and you shut up. Only, it doesn't work with other songs. When we're returning from a day out and you're cranky, and we're five minutes into a long ride, I turn on the song, and you quiet down. I then proceed to a Weezer song or Ben Folds, and you're all, "WWWAAAAAAHHHHH! What is this lousy song?!!!!!!" So I return to "Hey There, Delilah." And you shut up again. I keep trying new songs, you keep crying. I return to our favorite tune, and you quiet down. Sometimes, you and me, we listen to that song TWENTY times in a row in the car. I could sing that song in my sleep now. I barely even like it anymore. When you have children, Nathan, make sure that you play them music you only love to the extreme. God help me if you had become attached to some country music song. I might have killed myself four or five repetitions in.

We got a big month ahead of us, Nathan. Halloween is coming up. You're probably going to roll over fully anytime now. We are probably going to start you on rice cereal sometime soon. I promise I'll love you during this next month. You just continue to smile at me like I'm the most awesome person who has ever existed.

BTW

If you are wondering why I'm posting about my baby and announcing my love for him all over the place today? It's because today is the day we discovered peekaboo and all of its glories. I need to get that video of peekaboo up on Flickr. Nathan thinks his mommy is the most hysterically funny mommy that has ever and we played peekaboo for about half an hour today. Most of the time, Nathan and I spent the time laughing somewhat maniacally. He would shriek with laughter which would cause me to shriek with laughter and then we'd just be laughing with each other.

After this rousing game of peekaboo, Nathan took a bath, got read a bedtime story, listened to a few nice rounds of "You Are My Sunshine", "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" and "Hey There, Delilah" (sing what you know), and then he got put into his crib instead of his Pak'n'Play. He whined a tiny bit, got his pacifier, turned onto his side, and fell asleep.

He's old enough to fall asleep on his side. Nathan, you totally promised me you'd never get too big and you are getting too big. How are you going to stay my itty-bittiest baby if you keep growing like this? You are growing so fast that I feel like you'll be in high school tomorrow, and you'll be sulky and angry and hate me. (Paul thinks I'm crazy for thinking this as he had no emotional problems in high school, but I hated my parents in high school like most normal teenagers.) Now I am paranoid there's going to be a day that comes when I can't nuzzle my nose into your neck, or that there's going to be a day when I can't kiss your checks until my lips hurt, and that day is going to be, like, tomorrow.

This is totally why some woman keep pumping out the babies, I think. I want a never ending string of baby necks to nuzzle, and I hated pregnancy. If I were a glower, Paul and I would eventually have fifty babies or something, and I'd never sleep again.

four months old. already.

Remember that this was once a knitting blog? Back in the day? Oh man, those days changed. Then this was my blog blog, where I blogged stuff. When I was funny, I'd type stuff here. When I wasn't funny, I also typed stuff here. Now, I type stuff here about my child.

If you want to read my funny stuff, you can visit my future to be blogged at space: The Dialogue Project! That is where I will hopefully be funny in the near future. If you want to read about crafts (and I craft way more than I joke apparently), you can go to: Ninja Kitten Knits. Join my on my voyage to blog about knitting, sewing, and cardmaking, but mostly knitting!

If you want to read about my baby, you gotta check out this blog, though. See, I'm going to blog about my perfect baby here.



What? You didn't know I had a perfect baby? Sadly, I didn't blog all of my child's beginning moments, so one day, when Nathan asks me what I thought during his first three months, I'll simply respond that I was thinking, "I hope this baby sleeps soon so I can get some rest." Maybe I should do a recap.


Week One:

I wonder if anyone knows I have the cutest baby on Earth? Will they try to steal him? I had better take all the anti-theft baby advice they give me in the hospital so that no one ever steals him. I love him too much. I love him more than I ever thought I could love anyone. I think I might die for love for this little being. I wonder what I should name him? All these people coming here better think this is a cute baby. What if all my friends think I have an ugly baby and are lying to me? How can they think this baby is ugly? Maybe they're blind. Damn, I really really love him. More than Paul loves him. I'll tell him that one day. Baby, whose name I do not yet know, I love you more than your dad does. If he tells you he loves you more, he's a liar. Who lies.

PS. Breast-feeding is totally hard and impossible and people who say otherwise are lying liars as well.


Week Two:

This having a baby thing is way way easier than anyone ever told me with the exception of feeding. I'm going to knock this out of the park, and I didn't even like babies before. I really wish Jade and Inigo liked Nathan more, but they'll eventually deal with it. All this baby does is sleep while we go places like Barnes and Noble or Dairy Queen. I wonder why I'm not losing any more weight. Breast-feeding is still impossible and now I kind of want to give it up. Why won't my Nathan bond with me? I don't understand it. Maybe he doesn't actually like me. I hope he likes me. Is it normal for his head to be at that angle in the car seat? That really can't be comfortable. I can't believe he's supposed to fit into this clothing. It's huge on him.


Week Three:

This is still the smallest thing on Earth. I cannot believe he is this tiny. Why is he so red and why are his eyes still gray? Paul and I are both pale pale people with brown eyes. What if this isn't really my son and he got switched at the hospital? I kind of love this one now. I don't think I'd give him back even if he weren't my real son. I hope he passes his hearing test. I want my baby to go through life with no problems. Clearly I have to protect him from everything. He sleeps so much still. Only, he kind of cries a lot when he's awake for those five minutes now.




One month:

He's still so tiny tiny. Why isn't his belly button healing right yet? It was supposed to be 14 days, but it is still kind of oozing, rather disgustingly. I'm glad Paul cleans it and I don't. It's yucky. I have to be so careful with his head nowadays. This whole taking care of baby stuff is kind of harder than I thought it'd be now that Paul has gone back to work and Nathan wants to be awake more. I still love him a lot though. Man, he's super awesome. I wish I wasn't basically wearing pajamas every day and all day long. I wonder if I should call my mother so I can get a two hour nap. Oh man, two uninterrupted hours of sleep. SWEET. Oh, damn, he just smiled at me. He smiled at ME. ME. He thinks I am awesome when he's awesome!


Month Two:

Okay, so babies aren't supposed to be up so long as I've been keeping him up. Babies get tired roughly two hours after they wake up. I wonder why that's not in a manual somewhere? I wonder why they don't make baby manuals that include stuff like, "Wiggle baby's legs to get rid of gas" and "Baby will try to step in his own poop during diaper changes" and "Spit up will often be explosively hurled over your shoulder during a burping? That would have been useful rather than that stupid "Don't shake your baby" information. I still love Nathan more than I thought humanly possible. LOVE HIM.

(Next post: Month three and four thoughts. This post will occur AFTER his fourth month birthday!)